Wednesday, October 07, 2009
From TMQ, the world's most eclectic NFL football column.
Here are some of the Olympic events we'll miss because the Games will not be in Chicago:
• Synchronized Senate seat selling.
• 4 X 400 city inspector kickback relay. Any dropped exchange of the envelope of cash disqualifies the team.
• Balance beam blame-shifting. All participants must maintain their political balance while denying being the one who told President Obama he should go to Copenhagen because the fix was already in for a Chicago selection.
• Patronage triathlon. First one to paint the alderman's house, give gifts to all his nephews and rig a primary wins a no-show city job.
The brew of our futures...
A brewery has launched a low alcohol beer called "Nanny State" (slogan: "Ask your Mum's permission and get hold of some now") after being branded irresponsible for creating the UK's "strongest beer".
Scottish brewer BrewDog, of Fraserburgh, was criticised for producing Tokyo* which has an alcohol content of 18.2%.
Campaigners welcomed the 1.1% alcohol Nanny State, but said the name showed a lack of appreciation of the problem... [BBC]
Maybe you really don't want to buy that lottery ticket -- you might win...
If I were any of those people, it would be "Keep the Tokyo* coming".
"Winning the lottery isn't always what it's cracked up to be," says Evelyn Adams, who won the New Jersey lottery not just once, but twice (1985, 1986), to the tune of $5.4 million. Today the money is all gone and Adams lives in a trailer...
Suzanne Mullins won $4.2 million in the Virginia lottery in 1993. Now she's deeply in debt to a company that lent her money using the winnings as collateral ... she'd agreed to pay back the loan with her yearly checks ... When the rules changed allowing her to collect her winnings in a lump sum, she cashed in the remaining amount [without repaying the loan]...
Willie Hurt of Lansing, Mich., won $3.1 million in 1989. Two years later he was broke and charged with murder...
Missourian Janite Lee won $18 million in 1993 ... eight years after winning, Lee had filed for bankruptcy with only $700 left in two bank accounts and no cash on hand.
William "Bud" Post won $16.2 million in the Pennsylvania lottery in 1988 but now lives on his Social Security. "I wish it never happened. It was totally a nightmare," says Post...
A brother was arrested for hiring a hit man to kill him, hoping to inherit a share of the winnings ... A former girlfriend successfully sued him for a share of his winnings ... Post even spent time in jail for firing a gun over the head of a bill collector.
Within a year, he was $1 million in debt ... He eventually declared bankruptcy. Now he lives quietly on $450 a month and food stamps... [Bankrate.com]